Monday, February 15, 2010

An irresistible force meets an immovable object

I was walking through Bort Meadow, hopping back and forth to avoid the mud puddles left by the recent rains, when I came upon a herd of cows grazing near the path. A large black cow who, upon closer inspection revealed himself to be a bull, raised his head and gave me the stink-eye, but since I've always been on good terms with the bovine species I continued to hopscotch my way through the muck, passing just a (cow's) nose-length from him. The bull lowered his head, pawed the ground, and two cartoon puffs of steam issued from his nostrils. Then he sashayed a step closer and butted me out of his way, and I bounced across the path like a pebble. I was unhurt, except for my feelings, which were deeply wounded. "I'm a vegetarian," I said to the bull, as soon as my heart rate had gone back to normal. He wasn't paying attention. He'd already forgotten my existence and was enthusiastically cropping the grass. I brushed the bull slobber off my shirt, vowing never again to underestimate someone who weighs two thousand pounds more than I do.


Apifera Farm said...

Ah, the old "I'm a vegetarian' line....but you forgot, so is he, and you were on his salad bar...glad you weren' t hurt! Tip: don't do that again, or I'll throw you in with Joe Pye next time you're here, also a vegetarian as a reminder lesson [one I've learned myself].

John said...

I was always afraid of the cows at UC Santa Cruz, and now I know why: bull slobber. Gross.

Tai said...

John, I was intimidated by those UCSC cows too. They were so erudite. And such a vocowbulary! Steer clear!

Thanks, Katherine -- lesson learned. Tell Joe Pye I won't be trampling across his lunch, or anyone else's, again.